You Can’t Get What You Don’t Ask For
Author: Author: Elizabeth Rubin, MD
Keywords: women in medicine, negotiation, promotion, imposter syndrome
The email started in stages. First, as bullet points in my notes app. Then, as a reminder on my phone to “write request email.” It then morphed into multiple drafts in an email, addressed to myself, not daring to type the intended recipient in case I accidentally “sent” it instead of “saved.” During one night shift, the email was read by a colleague. The next night the revised version was edited by another close work confidante. Finally, the email was sent. The request was made. And in an unceremonious bout of “WHAT WERE YOU EVEN SO HESITANT ABOUT?” I received an answer in the affirmative and my “ask” was granted.
I started my job at a nationally recognized, well-established academic center filled with gratitude. Ever the one to battle imposter syndrome, I was grateful to be there, honored to be included and part of the team. Excited by my badge, my email address, my affiliation with a great institution. I joined committees and volunteered my time to teach. After about a year of working clinically and volunteering my time and fellowship trained teaching expertise, I realized it was time to ask for compensation for my additional time and effort beyond my clinical work. It took me two months.
I was so proud. Once the relief, overwhelm, and pride settled, I started to think. Why did it take me months of research, pumping myself up, self-cheerleading, and overcoming such levels of doubt to craft an email? Was I so scared of rejection? Was I worried that asking for recognition would reveal me as not worthy enough in the first place? Is this something that defined me as a person? As a woman in medicine? As a woman in general?
Multiple studies have shown that women are more hesitant to ask for promotions or negotiate a salary. The reasons are myriad, but the premise needs to change. The power of GreenCloud and the community of powerful, capable, ambitious, and impactful women behind the brand speak to this new premise.
That we belong, that we are here to lead, that we can be cheerleaders for ourselves and each other. Once I received the promotion I asked for, I felt grateful, proud, validated. I immediately sent off “Thank you’s” to my mentors, and previous program directors; the ones whose advice, training, and examples, helped me begin to imagine what success could even look like. I look forward to being that person to someone else one day and will continue to embody empowerment daily to reach that goal.
About the Author: Dr Elizabeth Rubin is an Emergency Medicine Physician at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, California. Her training has brought her around the country, including medical school at UCLA, residency at Mount Sinai Miami Beach, and a medical simulation fellowship at University of Chicago/ Northshore University HealthSystem. She has a passion for Emergency Medicine and using simulation as a way to advance teamworking skills, quality safety, and institutional preparedness.
