Pivoting Isn’t Quitting
Author: Kelly Cawcutt, MD, MS
No one likes a quitter.
Quit - to leave a placed permanently; to get rid of
Pivot - the central point something spins on; to turn in any direction
For the longest time, I felt that quitting and pivoting were the same. And I am NOT a quitter.
In medicine and in my career, though, this has meant the path I started down was straight and narrow and I did not waiver from the mapped course. Sure, there could be obstacles thrown down my path forcing me to traverse the flood or even surmount the unexpected mountain. But the way was set.
The path was clearly mapped out full of academic and clinical research, research mentors, a masters degree in clinical and translational science, and a long list of publications paved that intended trajectory to continue down that classic academic road.
By in my heart of hearts I knew that this journey was laid out for me by a different mapmaker, and was not truly a path entirely of my own choosing. I felt as lost as a seafarer on a starless night, a victim of the waves who lacked both the conviction and dedication to stay on course. This was the beginning of the end, where I simultaneously started to wonder if I still loved medicine and felt increasing burnout due to lack of joy in my day-to-day work.
And it hurt. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had wasted years. I felt the guilt of wanting to carve out an entirely new path. I felt like a quitter and I hated myself for it. But, I knew (and know) that my heart has always been in business and leadership, AKA often referred to as the dark side of medicine; the enemy camp - healthcare administration. (Audible gasp from the audience; I know, it’s ok, I am used to it.) Yet, we desperately need more physician leaders in administration, and I love the strategizing that comes with trying to impact healthcare at the organizational level. This is the path I am drawn to follow. I recognize that not everyone will understand or be supportive, and that is normal and ok. As long as I enjoy the work, feel that I am creating positive impact, and I am true to my authentic self, that is what matters. I did not learn this easily or quickly, but I did eventually learn these things.
Here are some of the hard earned truths I discovered.
Changing courses may seem like quitting at first, to both you and others. For those who cannot understand and continue believe it is quitting, or worse ‘selling out’, know that they are not your people. Those are the mapmakers so stuck in their perceptions of what is, that they miss the adventure of the unknown and what could be.
Quitting and pivoting may seem like semantics for some, but in truth the essence of their definitions clearly demonstrate that they are very different. I am not permanently getting rid of my career aspirations or medicine, but I (me, the person) am the center of my career, not research or academics or education, which means I am the central point that can can spin and decide turn in any direction. I can pivot, adjust my sails and chart a new course of my choosing.
Sometimes, the new course is indeed an adventure into the unknown, often requiring more courage than quitting. In that sense of adventure, and need for courage, we must remember that the unknown can be more beautiful than we could have imagined.
Choosing to pivot is not what changes you, you change, thus you pivot. I wish I realized changing the mental construct to pivoting would empower and free me from the guilt and feeling like I was failing.
Finally, it is still ok to truly quit something. You can make that choice, do not ever let someone else tell you something different .
Top Pivot Tips:
Get your mindset straight. It is still ok to quit something. It is also ok to pivot. Everything changes, therefore career trajectories are a normal as an expected part of change. Accept that.
Decide if it is a quit or a pivot and then define AND own the why behind that. Be able to stand tall and proud in that decision.
Have your ‘pivot’ elevator speech prepared for those few who truly need to hear it (boss, colleagues you may no longer work with as often, etc).
Lean in with curiosity, not judgement, when you or others around you change their trajectory. Be the supporter you would want for yourself. It will pay dividends back to you on the support you receive back.
Be kind, be humble, be honest and strive to do it all with grace - for yourself, and those around you.
About the author: Kelly Cawcutt, MD, MS is an infectious disease and critical care physician at the University of Nebraska Medical Center (Twitter: @KellyCawcuttMD)
