We Need to Talk About Womxn
Author: Davy Ran MSc MPH
Keywords: transgender, nonbinary, sexism, patriarchy, oppression, solidarity, empowerment, womxn
Womxn. How do you pronounce that word? In my mind I say “wo-mix-in”, which feels like it gets at the core concept of the word: women, with a few other genders mixed in, but to a lesser extent.
‘Womxn’ is a pretty universal signal for attempted inclusion. I have never heard this word used with ill-intent. However, I can think of many times that word has made me feel actively uncomfortable and unwelcome as a non-binary person.
Once, in college, my therapist suggested I try group therapy. “I have a women’s group that would be great for you,” she’d enthused, and it took me several stunned seconds to gather myself enough to remind her:
“I’m... not a woman.”
I watched her eyes go wide in recognition of her error and she stumbled over several apologies before we moved on. At the end of the visit, though, she brought it up again; “You could still attend the women’s group, you know- I’m sure no one would have a problem with a nonbinary person joining.”
Huh. Well. I was glad that no one else would have a problem, but what about my problem?
When a cis man is not allowed into a women’s-only space, they are validated as being not a woman. What does it say to lump trans men, nonbinary folx, and all others* existing under a clearly non-woman umbrella into women’s groups, spaces, and stories? She might as well have said, “You corrected me, but I still see you as a woman, I have decided that my consent and comfort is the priority over yours”.
To be clear, being AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth) and non-binary is not a form of diet woman or woman-lite. Much as women don’t want to be defined in relation to men (see, for example, ‘women doctors’ vs ‘doctors’), other genders should not be defined solely in relation to the genders they are not.
The confusion, I think, comes from trying to reconcile the way the patriarchy oppresses all genders besides men, intersectional feminism attempts to empower all oppressed genders, and historically conversations around these two opposing forces have been focused exclusively on cisgender women and men.
As someone who is AFAB and for much of my life perceived as a woman by others, I feel a lot of solidarity with women and the truly incessant sexist messaging they, and I, received growing up. As someone who is non-binary, I feel solidarity with women as another under-recognized, underrepresented, and continually undermined gender, though we are all these things in different ways. These two feelings of solidarity are not the same, nor should they be. When we equivocate women’s experiences with the experiences of other genders we not only erase the unique experiences of other genders but also the unique experiences of women too.
At an old workplace my boss, a man, would habitually make sexual comments towards women on staff, often outfit-related. As someone who dressed more ‘masculine’ these comments were never applied to me. I did, however, get my own share of transphobic commentary which the cis women did not. We both deserved the space to process these feelings, and while we could all agree harassment is wrong, it did not magically make us able to understand the depth of each other’s experiences as though we’d experienced them ourselves.
That said, it is not impossible nor inappropriate for women’s organizations to aim for inclusion. There are ways it can be done with grace and skill. If one wants to invite trans people who aren’t women or woman-aligned into women’s spaces, make it clear they are being included not as an add-ons as a ‘close enoughs’ to women, but explicitly as trans people who aren’t women (with their consent, of course!**). Actively recognize the differences in experience and the nuances and benefits of trans voices in gender equity conversations precisely because they are trans voices, as opposed to in spite of. We don’t need to be the same to deserve the same rights and pursue the same goal.
In being encouraged to write this piece for WIM, I was given the option of raising my voice as whatever identity I wanted to share. By defining itself as an organization for women, allies, and those to whom they are allied, WIM provides a venue in which gender equity can be discussed, dissected and pursued by all angles by all people. We don’t need womxn to do this; we don’t need to be afraid of naming more precisely that to which we speak. It may be wordy, but it’s worth it. At the risk of sounding cliche, all of us minoritized identities really are in this together, and I look forwards to continuing the fight for gender equity in the spirit of ever-evolving integration- and not assimilation- in the future.
*There are as many genders as there are people- identities are limitless! Other commonly cited gender identities in American culture include genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender, and Two-Spirit (a Native American identity only).
**I cannot emphasize enough how much I do not speak for all trans people, and the best way to know how trans people want to be included is to ask them. Having this option open to people, though, will serve as a better catch-all than ‘womxn’ does.
About the Author: Davy Ran, MSc MPH is a rising 4th year medical student at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. They have been involved in global and public health equity work for over a decade with specialized training in working with the LGBT, Latinx, and disabled communities. At the moment, Davy is writing and illustrating a book of short stories about being a multiple-minority medical student as part of a year-long Medical Humanities Fellowship. Their overarching goal is to help recruit, support, and mentor other minorities in medicine and ultimately make healthcare a more accessible, inclusive, and equitable space. (Twitter: @DavySRan)
