To Fit In or Not To Fit In
Author: Sarah Bhagudas
Keywords: Gender bias, gender equity, inclusion, women in medicine
While we hear stories of the Summit being life-changing, it’s nice to step back and look at the bigger picture or the WHY. I like to think of gender equity (or the lack thereof) as a giant picture puzzle with just the border pieces snapped in. This border is compiled of the historical big-shot women. I’m talking about Ella Josephine Baker and Susan B Anthony's level. They were the foundations amongst others. Next, you have women like Dr. Shikha Jain or Dr. Neelum Aggarwal, amongst MANY others, who are placing puzzle pieces down. The Summit gives us a place to be those puzzle pieces as well, filling in the rest of the picture.
I’ve been a part of the WIMS team since September 2021. I joined the virtual conference at a time when I felt like I needed to be fighting for a cause instead of doing nothing. It was a time when I was moving to a new country for medical school and things were all over the place mentally. Fast forward to this year, I joined the research team and threw myself into unfamiliar territory. I am a natural introvert and meeting new people, let alone incredibly powerful women, was something I typically would run from. However, I became a student admin helping with anything I could do, just to say that I can help the summit move forward in any way possible. I wanted to fit in a small role because I knew that was all I could do at this time as a medical student. Being on zoom calls with women who were in ALL different types of fields and at the top of their careers was exhilarating but extremely intimidating to me being a Caribbean medical student in Grenada. Imposter syndrome, we are one. It took time but I became very comfortable around the amazing philanthropy team guided by Dr. Bindal over the months and when the opportunity to rotate in Chicago came around, I figured this was THE sign that everything was falling in place.
After signing up as a volunteer, I was nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. What if these women saw me in person and didn’t take me seriously? Typing this, I laugh at the fact that I thought this at the time because the summit was made to break down questions like that. While packing my life up for Chicago a few days before the summit, a great portion of my world turned upside down. I dealt with the loss of someone dear and it shook me. Amidst this, life does move on, and I had to move the day after this devastating loss. I was in Chicago – alone and mourning – about to go to a conference for the first time. A bit of a situation that I probably was not mentally ready for. Nevertheless, I was going to present my paper and represent it as my team deserved. It took me everything in my power to peel myself off the bed the morning of Friday, September 16th. While I looked forward to seeing everybody as I have for the entire year, I was not myself.
To say “fangirling” when I saw every person I followed on Twitter is an understatement. I was star-struck. These were my celebrities. I had the responsibility of helping with registration and I am so glad I did. Let’s just say it took all my professionalism not to ask for a picture with everybody I registered (Cough cough Dr. Jessi Gold). The hard thoughts became afterthoughts. It was almost emotional seeing everybody in person. I lied. Not almost. I cried. These were women whose thoughts on Twitter were retweeted and rejoiced in my personal life. Their articles were circulated at every chance I had. The intimidation I felt at the beginning slipped away throughout the day. By the time I did my poster presentation, there weren’t roles or positions. I felt like these women were my comrades in this bigger fight that we all came here for. I felt an inner reward for simply being around them – like a gold star sticker on my soul. While I shall continue fangirling over everyone on Twitter till WIMS 2023, I take comfort for now knowing that I became a piece of a giant puzzle during the summit, and I actually fit pretty nicely in it.
About the author: Sarah Bhagudas is a third-year clinical student at St. George’s University. She’s served as a student admin on the Philanthropy team of the Women in Medicine Summit while being a part of the Research Lab and Volunteer team as well. Passionate about the field of pediatrics as well as reproductive health, she is motivated to work in underserved populations that lack affordable prenatal services for women and their babies in the future as well as educate the children of these populations about their bodies! (Twitter: @SBhagudas)
