Navigating Health Care as a Physician, Member of LGBTQ+ Community

This Blog post represents a partnership between the Women in Medicine Summit and Healio Women in Oncology. An excerpt appears blow, and please find the full length piece at Healio’s Women in Oncology Blog

“Which mom are you?” It’s an innocent question, right? I’m with one of my kids, and I’m alone at their school picking them up. The person asking has never seen me before, but they know we are a queer family.

I invariably reply, “I am the doctor mom.”

Of all the identities I could tie to this response, why “doctor mom?” I could be the “taller mom,” the “cis-gender mom” or the “can’t-parallel-park-mom.” I could give them what they want upfront and just say, I am the “biological mom.” But I never do.

Systemic barriers

As a medical student in the South in 1999, the vast majority of people I interacted with were kind, rational and tolerant. I had an occasional disconnect with a patient or doctor who was less than enthusiastic about my completely out approach to my sexual orientation. Most commonly, I was told that I had not met the right man — a role they were offering to play.

In one-on-one interactions, however, most humans gave me a chance to show that I, too, was compassionate, empathetic and capable. I was mentored. I was offered opportunities to learn, to present and even to publish research. I got my first choice of residency in the match and again when I applied for fellowship. No doubt, my privilege as a white person played an enormous role in my success. Despite all of these privileges, the systemic barriers I have encountered as a lesbian woman trying to keep my family and spouse safe have taken their toll.

About the author: B.J. Rimel, MD is medical director of the Cedars-Sinai Cancer Clinical Trials Office.